Peru and the Inca Trail

Peru and the Inca Trail: Lima, Lake Titicaca, Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Amazon

In this episode of Unravel Travel, we revisit an organised group trip to Peru, built around the legendary four-day Inca Trail trek to Machu Picchu. The full journey lasted around 17 days and took in several of Peru’s most memorable travel experiences: the humidity and history of Lima, the altitude and strangeness of Lake Titicaca, the relaxed beauty of Cusco, the physical and emotional challenge of the Inca Trail, and an Amazon extension filled with night boats, jungle walks, macaws and football in unlikely places.

This is a classic adventure travel episode: part travelogue, part cautionary tale, part celebration of one of the world’s great walking routes. We talk about altitude, camping, group travel, porters, local food, jungle wildlife, and the moment when Machu Picchu finally appears beneath you after days of trekking through the Andes.

What we cover in this episode

Starting in Lima

The trip begins in Lima, Peru’s coastal capital, where the first impression was the extraordinary humidity. We talk about arriving in a city that feels heavy with heat and history, and visiting Lima Cathedral, with vultures circling overhead and adding a slightly surreal edge to the scene.

We also visit the National Museum of Archaeology, Anthropology, and History, one of the key cultural stops in Lima, with collections ranging from ancient textiles and ceramics to Inca stonework and other pre-Hispanic objects. It is a useful grounding point before heading deeper into the landscapes and stories of the Andes.

Train to Lake Titicaca

From Lima, the journey moves towards Lake Titicaca, one of the most famous high-altitude destinations in South America. At over 3,800 metres above sea level, the lake is often described as the world’s highest navigable lake, and the first real experience of altitude can be dramatic.

We discuss what it feels like to be at altitude for the first time: the breathlessness, the strange physical sensations, and the way even simple walking can suddenly feel much harder.

The episode also covers the Uros Floating Islands, the man-made reed islands of Lake Titicaca. Built from totora reeds by the Uros people, these floating platforms are one of Peru’s most distinctive cultural sights. We also visit Taquile Island, where a training hike in beautiful weather helps prepare the group for the Inca Trail.

Cusco: churches, cafés and altitude

Next comes Cusco, the old Inca capital and one of the great travel cities of South America. After the intensity of Lima and the altitude of Lake Titicaca, Cusco feels sunny, warm and relaxed.

We talk about Cusco’s mix of churches, cafés, plazas and mountain light, and the way the city gives travellers time to acclimatise before heading onto the trail. There is also a personal “John Peel” moment in the notes: a reminder that travel memories are often tied to music, atmosphere and tiny details as much as to monuments.

Cusco becomes the pause before the hard part: the gateway to the Sacred Valley, the Andes, and the trek to Machu Picchu.

The four-day Inca Trail trek

The heart of the episode is the four-day Inca Trail trek to Machu Picchu. This was the classic group adventure: camping, mountain paths, porters, altitude, basic toilets, tired legs and moments of real wonder.

We talk about the mistaken confidence of thinking that football fitness would be enough. The Inca Trail is not just about being generally fit; altitude changes everything. Even people who feel sporty at home can find themselves struggling once they are walking and climbing at over 3,000 and 4,000 metres.

There are also the practical realities of trekking: camping, tiredness, shared routines, and the unforgettable toilet tent. The notes include a collapsing toilet tent, a hole in the ground, and a personal toilet faux pas — the kind of travel detail that may not appear in the brochures but often becomes one of the stories people remember most.

One of the lighter moments is playing football against the porters on an old camping field. At altitude, even a casual kickabout becomes exhausting. The porters, of course, are operating in their natural environment and are usually far better adapted to the conditions than the visitors.

The hardest physical point is Dead Woman’s Pass, or Warmi Wañusqa, the highest pass on the classic Inca Trail at around 4,200 metres. It is the point where the trek becomes a serious test of lungs, legs and morale.

Arriving at the Sun Gate and Machu Picchu

After days of walking, the emotional high point is arriving at Inti Punku, the Sun Gate. This was the ancient ceremonial entrance to Machu Picchu for those approaching on the Inca Trail, and for modern trekkers it still carries a powerful sense of arrival.

The first view down onto Machu Picchu is one of the great travel moments: the famous lost city below, the mountains around it, and the sense that the effort of the trek has built towards exactly this reveal.

We talk about the spiritual feeling of reaching the Sun Gate, the first sight of Machu Picchu, and why walking there gives a very different emotional connection from simply arriving by bus or train.

After exploring the site, the group takes the bus down to Aguas Calientes, the town below Machu Picchu.

Aguas Calientes: hot shower, hot springs and beer

After four days on the trail, Aguas Calientes feels like luxury. The first hot shower in days becomes a major event. So do the hot springs and a beer.

This part of the episode captures the strange pleasure of basic comfort after a trek: clean clothes, warm water, a proper bed, and the feeling that every ordinary thing has become special.

There is also a classic Peru food moment: guinea pig for dinner. For many visitors, trying cuy is part curiosity, part cultural experience, and part test of how adventurous they really are.

Amazon extension

The journey then shifts from the Andes to the Amazon, adding a completely different side of Peru to the trip. After mountain walking, altitude and Inca history, the Amazon brings heat, water, jungle sounds and wildlife.

We talk about a night boat trip looking for caiman, the excitement of scanning the water in darkness, and a jungle hike that was meant to be about seeing giant river otters but ended up becoming a macaw experience instead.

The notes include macaws at a salt or clay lick, a tame macaw at the jungle lodge, and another unlikely football match — this time with the macaw somehow becoming part of the story.

It is a reminder that organised trips rarely unfold exactly as described in the itinerary. Sometimes the thing you expected to see does not appear, and something stranger or funnier becomes the real memory.

Key places mentioned

Lima
Lima Cathedral
National Museum of Archaeology, Anthropology, and History
Lake Titicaca
Uros Floating Islands
Taquile Island
Cusco
The Inca Trail
Dead Woman’s Pass / Warmi Wañusqa
Inti Punku / the Sun Gate
Machu Picchu
Aguas Calientes
Peruvian Amazon

Why this Peru trip stayed memorable

This journey stays memorable because it combines almost every kind of travel experience in one country. There is the capital city of Lima, the history of Peru’s museums and cathedrals, the thin air of Lake Titicaca, the charm of Cusco, the effort of the Inca Trail, the emotional arrival at Machu Picchu, and the wildness of the Amazon.

It is also memorable because of the contrast between the grand and the ridiculous. On one hand, there is the spiritual feeling of reaching the Sun Gate and looking down on Machu Picchu. On the other, there are toilet tents, football at altitude, hot showers that feel like miracles, guinea pig for dinner, and a macaw that somehow becomes part of the story.

That is often what makes travel powerful: the famous places bring you there, but the odd details are what you end up retelling years later.

Keywords

Peru travel podcast, Inca Trail podcast, Machu Picchu travel, Lima Peru, Lake Titicaca, Uros Floating Islands, Taquile Island, Cusco travel, Dead Woman’s Pass, Warmi Wañusqa, Sun Gate Machu Picchu, Inti Punku, Aguas Calientes, Peru Amazon, Amazon jungle Peru, caiman night boat, macaws Peru, organised group travel, adventure travel Peru, altitude sickness Peru, trekking podcast, travel stories Peru, Unravel Travel

If you have any question on this or another travel topic, just contact us at contact.unraveltravel@gmail.com

Our theme music is Traveler's Blues by Jerzy Gorecki from Pixabay (with licence)

https://pixabay.com/users/jerzyg%C3%B3recki-2233926/

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Welcome to Unravel Travel, where every journey has a story. I know the story you've been dying for me to get to is my faux pas toilet situation. I like it when I say faux pas toilet in the nose. Yeah, exactly. So now you want to know what it is. I remember struggling going uphill once, and every every time the porters are coming, there's a shout of porters, and you move to the left, and they run literally run past you. And you're sort of like, once you get to altitude, you're like plodding up. Really going.

SPEAKER_01 0:50

Because I guess you get up in the morning, they then break camp after you've left, run past you, and have it set up by the time you arrive. Absolutely 100% correct.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

But I remember on the train we stopped at a station, and my recollection is that this is one of the highest train stations in the world. And we got out and had a short walk, and it was, oh my god, what is this stuff? So lightheaded. Did they not give you any coca leaves to chew or something? They did, but that was on the trek itself.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Things are always happening to me. David, any ideas?

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Uh well, I I know I know what the what it's of. Uh so how they we're we're talking about my trip to Peru. Um please look after this bear. Ah, Paddington Bear, of course. That's uh I don't know what that says about Peru when he's your most famous export, and probably actually technically doesn't really come from Peru anyway. Just we said he did, or whoever invented him said he did.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Well, what was swamping my mind actually was like eight episodes of the rest is history on the Incas from earlier in the year, but that's too much to quote. So I just went with Paddington. I just thought I'd pitch it at the length at the uh at the level of our audience and go with Paddington Bear instead.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

Well, we're you attract the audience you deserve, I think Malcolm. Um yes, as I so as I say, this is I went to um Peru primarily to do the Inca Trail, but it was something like a 17-day trip, and the Inca Trail was probably about four days of it. So I thought the other day when we were doing a podcast, you said you got any ideas for the next one? And I think we'd mentioned Peru in that. I thought, oh yeah, actually, yeah, we did. We mentioned the Pisco Sour, which is where uh I drank it on the uh Alcohols of the World episode, which will be out soon. I thought, yeah, actually, Peru would be a good one because it wasn't just a trekking holiday. In fact, the trekking aspect of it was uh one of the smaller aspects, although most memorable. But yeah, so I thought maybe I could do a little bit about Peru.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

And when were you in Peru?

SPEAKER_02 3:17

Can you remember how far was it in black and white or no, it was in colour but not on widescreen TVs. Right. Uh so it was 200 um one. I think it was about August time because I think we got back shortly before the World Trade Towers came down.

SPEAKER_01 3:37

Right, okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

Uh and I remember thinking that could have been problematic. Uh it was probably a month uh before they came down, but you know, it was quite close at the time. Yeah, so went there with with an or with Explore, uh, an organized trip. We went because Barbara wanted to do uh the Inca Trail. I hadn't ever done a hiking trip before.

SPEAKER_01 3:57

So this is your first sort of trekking experience then into trekking hikes and yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 4:04

I mean I guess I'd done uh hiking before, but I hadn't done trekking and I hadn't done a lot of hiking at that time. And thought I could get away on my football fitness. Clearly, I couldn't. Well as you're generally just goal hanging, that's probably not realistic. True. And it my football fitness was five aside, football fitness as exactly five aside goal hanging. So you can play against defence and you're goal hanging when you play five aside. Uh anyway, so I didn't really do the prep that I should have done. But we'll come on to the uh the hiking bit of it later. So I'm gonna breeze a little bit through Lima because that's where we arrived, but I don't really remember it uh very much, probably because it's not overly memorable.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Well, even one step further back, you flew, I guess. Is it can you go direct, or did you have to flew via Madrid?

SPEAKER_02 4:51

Right, okay. Uh Iberia Airways. I'm not sure they exist anymore, but that's who we went with. Obviously, there's a Spanish connection there uh with Peru and and the Incas. Bits I can remember of Lima, the overarching memory was uh it was something like 100% humidity. I've never been in a place that was so well, not hot and humid. It's not overly pleasant at all. In fact, I just th I made the mistake of trying to wash the shirt that I'd travelled in uh because we thought ah, this is a good opportunity, we're here for two days, it's a quick drying travel shirt. I washed it, hung it in the room, and it got no drier from the point of washing it. It just 100% humidity, it just did not dry. It was ridiculous. But the bits I can remember, we did a museum in Lima uh and I was trying to remember which one it was, and it had some antique textiles and inca stonework. So I think it was the National Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology and History, because I looked that up on Google and that seemed the most likely, although of course it's uh 25 years ago, so that could well have changed anyway.

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

But I I remember it being interesting. They had a piece on the is it the NASC NASCAR lines, NASCAR lines, yeah. Which, you know, having seen that, I was I was a little bit dis well, as in seen a display about them. I was a little bit disappointed that it wasn't going to be part of the trip.

SPEAKER_01 6:17

Yeah, they're very impressive, aren't they? I was gonna want to ask if we flew over them or did uh no, unfortunately not.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

But but yeah, it it you know it's an organized trip, so you can't necessarily uh we did do one added bit to it, which I'll come on to later. We did a a three, four-day extension where we went into the Amazon uh and stayed at a lodge in the jungle, which was definitely a good thing to do at the end. But I'll tell you more about that later. And then the other thing I remember tour around Lima, we just seem to be on a coach, hop off the coach, look at go go in where somewhere, look at the palace. I think I can remember a palace, and then hop on the coach again. Uh, but one of the things I can remember was that there were vultures flying over, I think it was the cathedral, uh Lima Cathedral, which was somewhat surprising. I think that was the first time I'd seen a vulture and seeing them in a city. Thinking, oh, okay. No longer in Europe. But anyway, that was Lima. I think we I think we spent a couple of days there. We must have done a couple of dinners. Pretty certain because this was the standard way of doing these things, is that we would have gone out for a traditional dinner. Which was dancing girls and all that sort of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Uh oh, not marmalade sandwiches then.

SPEAKER_02 7:31

No. No, it wasn't. Don't think we had any marmalade at all. No, but it would have been sort of like traditional costume, traditional dance, all that sort of thing. And you know, I've been to a few places now, and after a while, you it they all seem to be the same despite the fact that uh it's supposed to be tradition of a place, it all seems to have followed the same formula. Yeah. But yeah, it was it was okay. And I think uh I can't remember if I had my pisco sour there or whether I had it in Cusco, but I would have had it at at one point or other. And yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

I didn't have more than one, it didn't become your favourite drink while you were there.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

I quite like it now. I think at the time I didn't really drink brandy or cocktails, so it didn't really sort of like strike me as oh wow, this is amazing. I was more of a you know, a lager drinker, I guess. But yeah, I love it now. So I'd probably just go back so I could see the NASCAR loans and uh drink pisco sour and eat a guinea pig. Um well that's ticked off everything else I was gonna ask you about guinea pigs. I'll I'll ask a little bit, but I I'll say a little bit more about that later. So after a few days, handful of days in Lima, we got the train, and I think it was all the way to Lake Ticaca, but or or nearby. And that I had to again looked all this up on uh on Google, and it's the world's highest navigable lake at 3,800 metres. So I knew it was some the world's highest something. Well it's big as well, isn't it? It's huge, and it crosses over into Bolivia as well, I think. Some border is in half. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, portion of it's in Peru and a portion of it's in Bolivia. I'm not sure how how that split what percent or whatever. And while we were there, uh we went to the the Euros floating islands on Lake Tichaka.

SPEAKER_01 9:16

There used to be lots more of them, didn't there? There might only be a few left now, but I think it was heavily floating islanded back in the Incas.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

I think that's right. And well, exactly, because the the local people basically made these islands out of reeds, weaving them, and you know, it was to escape the uh the Inca Empire as it was expanding, just to get away off the la off the land. My memory of that was that it was weird, it was almost like a very rigid, bouncy castle. You could feel it s giving slightly as you as the waves well as the waves moved underneath it or something, or yeah, probably yeah, probably you felt I think it gave as you stepped because it's obviously it's not a completely rigid thing if you imagine a woven carpet. But you're right as well, it probably was the waves moving the thing as well. Yeah, I've never done anything like that before or after, to be perfectly honest. So it was like a giant Lilo then. Yeah, it was. Uh, with people selling tourist hat. Bit of a shame. Plastic skulls you could drink blood out of and stuff like that. Probably. I think it was more those, I know this is more Nepal, isn't it? I'm thinking about the whisk. Yeah, exactly. But that that's more the Tibetans, isn't it? But yeah, I'm sure the Peruvians have got a I know they've got uh an equivalent, so there probably was some of that going on. And then I think the same day, because I think this was all on one day, we did a a training hike on uh I my when I looked it up, my memory was it call was called tequila island, but it's actually called Takila T A Q U I L E. So almost tequila, but not quite.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

And how do you pronounce that, David, if it's not pronounced tequila?

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Take or taquil? To be perfectly honest, when they were pronouncing it out there, I've I remember tequila island, but it might be. Let's go with this. Yeah, exactly. Uh and you know they they handed everybody a free bottle of tequila when they arrived. They didn't. And and that was a I think that was quite a high altitude. So that was kind of like an altitude, man, not exactly an altitude training because we hadn't had time to acclimatise.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

I remember that's what I was gonna ask you about because we talked about altitude sickness and acclimatisation before. But this was a properly organised trip, and they just they they took us straight to our 4,000 metres and exactly see who surprised.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

I think it was I think it was to see how it was a short walk, and we did go down to Cusco afterwards, which is a lot lower. But I remember on the train we stopped at a station, and my recollection is that this is one of the highest train stations in the world, and we got out and had a short walk, and it was oh my god, what is this stuff? So lightheaded. Did they not give you any cocoa leaves to chew or something? They did, but that was on the trek itself. Oh wow, okay. So I'll shoot ahead to that. So sorry, no, sorry, uh let me uh no no you're right, it wasn't just on the it was on the trek, but they also gave us them when we were on the bus, so it may well have been about this time as well. So yeah, it's the cocoa leaf, which is the cocaine plant, and a little bit of ash or something, which is I don't know, I think the idea is I never really got to the bottom of why I'm putting this burnt pumice type thing in my mouth. They were just doing that for a laugh. They were just doing that for a laugh. Probably. I m my guess, although I I was never told it for sure or never understood it for sure, was that it somehow activated the cocaine better.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Like turmeric and black pepper.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

One activates the other. Well, I'm taking those tablets, and you're right, uh they the the two the ingredients are together. So yeah, it probably is something like that. Whether it did any good or not, I have no idea. Uh, but I quite enjoyed it until the ash type thing started burning my mouth. I ended up getting a bit of an ulcer on the side of my mouth. So I stopped taking it at that. You weren't supposed to be chewing it non-stop, Dave. No, maybe maybe not. I just stuck it, you know, like you never used it, but the chewing tobacco, I I was sticking it in the on the gum. I'm sure that's what they told you to do, put it on the gum. And yeah, I meant you're probably right, I probably left it in a bit too long. But you know, I didn't particularly suffer from altitude on that trip, so you know, maybe there's something to it.

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Well, I'm sure there is something to it. I mean they all do it, don't they? Uh I'm sure it's not just for relaxation reasons.

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Yeah, although that it's probably the opposite of relaxation reasons, it's based on cocaine, isn't it? But that thank you for that, free freebie. Yeah, so we I think the main reason for doing the walk on that island wasn't necessarily about the altitude, it was just to see can people walk? Can people walk on roughly laid paths and do steps and all that sort of stuff? I rem I remember it being two, three hours, beautifully sunny, and actually a really pleasant walk. I remember that being a really nice walk. Anyway, from there, I can't remember how we got to the next bit, but we went to Cusco. And whenever I think of Cusco these days, I didn't know it at the time, but that was one of John Peel's favourite places, wasn't it? Oh, was it? Okay, yeah. Well he died there, didn't he? Did he? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

When when you said John P when I saw John Peel in the notes, I wondered if you he was on the trip and you met him there. No, unfortunately not. Oh well, he'll get a mention in our festivals episode.

SPEAKER_02 14:32

Exactly, coming up shortly. No, it was one of his favourite places, and given the vibe, well, I've talked about Lima, and maybe you can't skip it because you've got to fly into Lima and all that, and practically it makes sense to sort of spend well, maybe not shoot on to the next place immediately. Uh, but I would say keep the visit to Lima as short as as you can. Cusco, completely the opposite. Make it as long as you can. Really lovely weather, sunny, pleasant, 20 odd degrees, lots of churches, the Spanish had a real influence there, I'm guessing, and just a really lovely vibe. And I suppose this was before I'd done my backpacking trips to Southeast Asia, but it was probably the first time I'd been to that sort of place where maybe the Westerners are taking over a little bit, but in a in a way that's got a nice sort of like I don't know whether it was hippie or what, but it just had a nice relaxing vibe. And we didn't do very much there. It was just I think it was I should have checked Cuscar, but I think it's about 2,000-ish metres. So still some altitude to start to get acclimatized, yeah. But nowhere near as high as uh what we were earlier or what we were going to be going to. So we probably spent two, three days there and just I think we had some free time there. So we went to s to some churches and a couple of cafes and just generally hung out to be honest.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

It's a World Heritage site, isn't it? I think Cusco.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Yeah, yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

And um and was obviously if appeared regularly in the Inca versus Conquistador episodes in the 1490s.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

Indeed, actually you've reminded me there was um a TV series, Michael Wood, the comic on the BB's on the BBC. Absolutely amazing. I love his delivery mechanism anyway. He's got the sort of voice. Yeah, exactly. He's just got this soothing, yeah, authoritative voice, like like David Attenborough. Uh the only problem is that you can be listening to it and you'll just drift off, even if you haven't fallen asleep. You just go, oh, that's so lovely. Massage my ears. Before you know it, you you've you've missed half the episode, so you have to go back and start again. But when you do actually take it in, it's very uh informative and entertaining as well.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

Yeah, he's very interesting, isn't he?

SPEAKER_02 16:54

He is, he's very, very good. This is Unravel Travel in Peru. So then after I don't know how many days we're in now, let's say a week sounds about right. Um, we started the Machu Picchu trek.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

This was that far from Cusco?

SPEAKER_02 17:10

Did you have to go far to get there? Or no, not at all. I think it was a short drive, and then the first day was a half-day trek. So we must have got there around lunchtime, I would imagine. And I don't remember it being an early start. And then it was a four-day trek. First day I remember it rained, which was a bit, you know, not the most fun. You go halfway around the world and you're naively, because this is probably my first big trip, naively thinking, well, I've come this far, it's got to be good weather, isn't it? Especially after Cusco, I suppose. But that was the only day it rained on it, so you know, in the end it all worked out good. And that's raining. Uh is the humidity still really high, I guess. No. Um, as soon as you get away from Lima, uh, which is coastal, uh, it was nice and dry. Okay, obviously it was raining, but it wasn't particularly humid. Uh, and on the uh the the next days when it was sunny, it was really nice, shorts and t-shirt weather, really enjoyable walking. If if I'd had the strength in my legs to do the fitness to do the walking, it would have been really enjoyable. I always said that I should go back because I got to the point where I was a lot fitter and probably would I enjoyed it anyway, but probably would have really enjoyed it even the going up bit. So the the structure of the holiday was we were camping. I don't know what it's like these days, whether they've got accommodations or not.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

Was there no accommodation on the route then? Was it that wild that you could only camp or why?

SPEAKER_02 18:31

That was just camping. There are several different routes you can do, but and you know, it might be different now because back in the day in Nepal, most of it was camping. There were some tea rooms, but they've built a lot more tea rooms now, so maybe they've done something similar on the Inca Trail, but I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

Did they have porters for your all your gear or was it alpaca llama transport?

SPEAKER_02 18:53

It was wasn't alpaca and llama, although we did see a few of those. Um by the And I should imagine. I think so. I think we had some alpaca. It was mules and men. Uh and again, carrying there's so much more to have to carry when you're camping than when you're tea room, because I remember struggling going uphill once, and every every time the porters are coming, there's a shout of porters, and you move to the left, and they run literally run past you. And you're sort of like once you get to altitude, you're like plodding up, really going to be a little bit more.

SPEAKER_01 19:29

Because I guess you get up in the morning, they then break camp after you've left, run past you, and have it set up by the time you arrive.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Absolutely 100% correct, and they're running past you. Uh I mean they're all probably carrying about the same sort of weight, but it was the guy that was carrying the calagas uh canister on his back wearing flip-flops that really brought it home to me as to how unfit we were compared with them. You know, it's just nuts. They're I can't remember how much they carry, but it's something like 40 plus kilos, and you've got your day pack on you that is pushing 10 at the very most, and yeah, you're wearing all the high-tech boots and everything, and they're bombing past in bloody flip-flops and raggedy old fleeces and uh and uh complaining about the cold all the time because uh I guess they're used to the warmer weather and uh I can't remember what time of year it was there, but it's probably not the warmest time, otherwise it's I can't I can't remember. Anyway, so we when we camped, we all the there was people were sharing tents, there was a a dining tent, and then there was a toilet tent where which you dig a hole, and this is not the story you think it is, Malcolm. I'm coming on to that later. Um you you dig a hole. Yes, I'm trying to remember whether that was the bucket one or I no, I think that's a good one. Surely you didn't dig a hole. No, no, the porters dig a hole. And that you know, and the tent is basically just for privacy, and there's a hole, and the hole is used at the end, they fill the hole up. Yeah. And I remember one evening we were on a slightly raised section looking down onto the toilet tent, and suddenly this toilet tent is sort of like waving from side to side. Uh there must have been a bucket in there, actually, I think. Uh, and the this it sort of like falls over on its side, and one of our parties sort of like emerges from the tent and has kicked the bucket over and apparently he lost his balance while trying to stand up again and just collapse the whole bloody tent. But the reason I also know what I suppose there was a bucket in the toilet tent, and then what they used to do is they used to take uh go further out, dig holes, and then when we were breaking up camp, fill the hole with the waste product from the uh from the toilet tent, fill it back up. But the reason that's relevant is each night we were playing football against the porters, so said porters with running past us with uh calagas slopes on their bowel canisters or whatever. On their back, so super super fit. But we were playing on this pitch, and there's these bumps everywhere, and then eventually you realize oh, that's where all the waste has been buried. So you sort of playing one way you've I think the way we played with uh a back five, I think, on one up front. So we're just defended very, very deep. A bit like was it uh Bolivia we England played the other day?

SPEAKER_01 22:28

England will be playing against Mexico in a couple of weeks. Probably this comes out at Mexico.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

Probably it's gonna be like dreading that game. I'm dreading it. But anyway, so we played with a back five or however many it was, and we had this kid who was I don't know, 17 out. So I would I would have been 30, 31 at the time. Uh and this kid was about I don't know, he felt like he was 18, 17, 18, 19. He he must might have been there with his parents, they could have been even younger. But he was the only one who had any energy to run after a day hiking in the mountains. So we just hoofed it long to him the whole time and he scored. Because the Peruvians, while they might have been super, super fit, these porters, they they and they were playing football the whole time, they just didn't have the silky skills of us English, unfortunately for them. It's not worth mear that. I know, I know. Anyway, so I think we ended up winning each day. But that that probably wasn't the best thing to do while you're hiking in at altitude because you're supposed to rest. Well, didn't even think about that, but yeah, absolutely. But even just you're supposed to rest. But anyway, football. It was back when the day when I saw a football, I couldn't resist but to run past run after it. The coca leaves might not have had anything to do with this then. Yeah, who knows? Yeah, they might have done that. Well, you were playing like Maradona, were you? Yeah, I scored and I went in the camera all crazy, crazy eyes. Anyway, so after a couple of days, we come to the the climb up to Dead Woman's Pass, which is 4,200 metres, which is the highest point. And the Inca way of saying it is Wami Wanuska, I believe. That sounds good. That sounds pretty authentic. It did sound good, didn't it? Any Incas who are listening, please feel free to, or descendants of Incas, please feel free to uh correct me in the comments. Anyway, so we're climbing up there, and I I was almost done. I was one of the last to get to the top, absolutely knackered. Uh, but then it was downhill from that point, and that's when I started coming into my own again, because it was back when my knees were still good, so I was sort of jogging down the steps, and so going, oh, this isn't so bad after all, is it? And then I think a day later we actually arrived at the Sun Gate, which was the ancient ceremonial entrance to Machu Picchu. And I've got to say, it was emotional. It you know, you you've it felt really good because as I say, that was the first expedition type trek I'd done, and you felt like you'd achieved something, and so there's the achievement aspect, and then you go through the sun gate, and uh it's higher than the Machu Picchu site, and you're looking down on it and you're going, Yeah, I've never seen anything like this. This is absolutely of course you've seen it on TV and everything, but it's just not the same, it's just stunning. And you know, there were a couple of people that were moved to tears, and I understand that. And you know, I I was close. It was it was it was good, very, very good.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

And that's that classic view of Machu Picchu is from above.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Yeah, yeah. So you can and then we got a bus down to uh the town that's just below Machu Picchu, which is uh So it was a four-day trek, it was four days to get there. Yeah, th three and a half walking, but yeah, four days.

SPEAKER_01 25:42

Yeah, and then and then but then when you once you're there, you can get very quickly to the bus somewhere else.

SPEAKER_02 25:49

Well uh we stayed for another couple of days afterwards. So we arrived quite late, uh, which was the intentional intention. So we only had half an hour or so when we arrived in Machapicu, then we got the bus down to Agua Calientes.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

But what I mean is you can get a bus if you got a bus down, then you can get a bus up. So you can pick the four-day oh sorry, you did a four-day walk and other people arrived by bus. That's a bit like the top of Snowden and people coming up by train, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02 26:18

It is, and on the bus down, it was full of Americans. Well, that's my memory. No, I'm not sure. I think you're probably right. And and they're our fav uh outside of the UK, they're our biggest listening group, aren't they? So I bet they were reasonably typed. They were exactly they like they like us well, I was gonna say abusing America, but you don't do that, they beat us. So, yeah, so it was full of Americans who'd gone up for the day on the bus, as you quite rightly say. We were on the bus, we'd had four days without a shower, so we're probably very smelly. We'd had a beer, I think they handed out beers to us on the bus because we hadn't had any while we were on the hike uh track for reasons I've talked about before. Uh, so we were a little bit tipsy, a little bit high on emotion, and quite smelly. So we were probably extremely obnoxious on the bus on the way down because we were sort of like, yeah, yeah, we walked there. What did you do? Anyway, so we got down to the to the bottom. Uh, and that night uh we had a nice hot shower for the first time, and then we went to um hot springs, hot water springs, and with more beer, you could have the beer while you were in the hot water springs, which was absolutely lovely. Soak all of those aching limbs and all of that stuff. Uh, and then the next morning we went up to Machu Picchu and spent the whole day. Oh, so you went back up on the bus? Yeah, we got the bus. Oh, and sorry, the other thing I forgot about was there was a one of I think it was a local, uh, I don't think it was one of our guys. But basically that when you go down on the bus, it's switchback after switchback after switchback. But there is a direct path down. And there was one of these young kids who ran all the way down as we were so every time we did a switchback in the middle of the switchback, he crossed the road. So everybody's waving at him as he's racing us down to the bottom. I can't I can't remember whether he was given tips or whether he just did it for fun, but it was bloody mental. Anyway, so yeah, so we spent the night in Agua Caliente uh and then go up to Match Picture, spent a whole day up there wandering around the site and just amazing, mind-blowing. And then we came down.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

Uh you took lots of photos you've never looked at again. Uh you'll have to dig one out for the cover. You know what?

SPEAKER_02 28:33

I don't even know if I took a camera. I don't remember taking a camera. I think I just wanted it to be super lightweight. Must have done. Okay. But I don't know where those photos are, I've not seen those photos. And then I did you ever really go then, actually?

SPEAKER_01 28:45

I mean, maybe whoever there's no evidence.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

Maybe I maybe I dreamt it. Uh and there's two things I've touched upon and not mentioned. So the first is one of the meals Barbara was the only person to order guinea pig, and this is a whole group of about 16 people, and everybody wanted to try a little bit of her guinea pig, which given that the amount of meat on a guinea pig. Exactly. So I'm not sure how much of her guinea pig she got to eat, but we've got to be able to get a lot of it, giant South American guinea pigs. Yeah, exactly. I forget their name, but yeah, they weren't, they were the tiny ones. And the other thing I'd remembered was that there were a couple of villages or a village that we went through and they had guinea pigs just wandering around. Uh like like you would have chickens. So, you know, they just grab one, I guess, when they want to eat it. Uh, but up until that point, it's completely free range. I know the story you've been dying for me to get to is my faux pas toilet situation. I like it when I see faux pas toilet in the nose. Yeah, exactly. So now you want to know what it is. So most of the hike there weren't public toilets on it, so you know you just go off in the bush. And I I think it was towards the end of it, you suddenly see this toilet building, you thought, oh god, I'm gonna use that. That that's good. So I walk up to it and there's a trough on the outside, and I thought, okay, because I'm kind of like used to Belgian toilets where they sometimes have the trough on the outside, you don't go inside to do a wee. So I just we in the trough and then go go on my merry way. But there is a guy there who, after I've sort of weed in the trough, uh, there's some running water, and he puts his hand and he washes his hands. And I'm thinking, that's okay, that's a bit weird, but whatever. Did he see you weing in it first? He did, he was waiting for me to finish. Anyway, a day later, a couple of us go again, and there's another toilet, exactly the same trough on the outside, but the guy ahead of me goes inside. I'm like, okay, there's an inside, all right. I go inside and there's the proper urinal. So I'll go to the and then it's all dawning on me. You peed in the sink the other day. And I think it it wasn't just a westerner that was next to me, I think it was a Peruvian chap as well. So it's sort of like oh disrespectful foreigners peeing in our sinks. Uh yeah, he probably thought I was from Leeds. Yeah, unf unfortunately, yeah. That I still cringe to this day when I think about that. I don't believe I did it. I I'm blaming altitude myself and cocaine leaf. Yeah, yeah, let's stick to that. Yeah, exactly. So then that brings us on to the Amazon extension. So just to wrap up, because I know we're getting tight on time. There was an extra bit, you could pay another, I don't know, 300 quid or whatever for three extra nights. So I thought, well, since we could get the time off work, I thought I'm not coming all this way and not going into the Amazon. So I've never done anything like that before. So I think it was an extra flight, and then you got a boat along the oh god, what's the river? Amazon.

SPEAKER_01 31:54

I think I'm just gonna take a while to stab in the dark and go with Amazon. I think it was just the River River.

SPEAKER_02 32:02

Was it the uh yes, I think you're right. I think it was the Amazon, and I'm so glad that this is not on TV because I am the brightest red colour that you've ever seen. That's the colour David was when he peed in the sink. Exactly. Uh I've not grown out of it, have I? Anyway, we we are up, we take this uh boat down the Amazon uh and come to this jungle lodge. There's lots of different sleeping places. I remember sleeping there, and you hear the howling monkeys in the morning uh booming their voices out through the jungle. Just a most amazing experience. We took a a little canoe type boat uh hollow uh more than one person, hollowed out for about three, four people, uh hunting for Cayman at night. Uh not hunting, hunting, but they take a torch. Exactly. They take a torch and they're looking for the eyeshine of them. You don't want to turn that boat over, do you? No, although they weren't very big, as far as I could I think they were sort of like they're the ones you can see, Dave. Less than well, true. They were bait. They were about a metre or something. We did a hike into the jungle looking for giant river otters, uh, which we didn't find, unfortunately, but we came across this cliff where there were loads of macaw clinging to it, and apparently they were licking the salt. Um so it's like a salt lick for them. And then there were a couple of tame macaw at the lodge, one more tame than the other, that had been rescued because one of them had had its wings clipped, and the other one they'd sell them in markets and they'd bought them in the market and brought them to the lodge. You know, one of them was so tame it'd sit on your knee and you could just stroke it. And then if you went away for the you know, when we were going out for a hike or whatever, it would run after you and start sort of almost like crying, sort of like, don't leave me, don't leave me. Uh, but that just absolutely brilliant. And a really good way after doing quite physically demanding bit of the holiday just to have a complete relax and rest day and resting before going back to London and having to get into all that sort of stuff again. But that was my Peruvian trip. Sounds great. Yeah, that I think they threw me out of the country at the end that I left.

SPEAKER_01 34:13

So 17 days. So just I mean like that. So you you could do you know most of that probably squeezed into a 14-day typical two weeks off work thing. Oh god, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

If you took off the um the the Amazon extension, absolutely a bit of the Amazon at the end is quite nice. Yeah, I don't think you'd be able to squeeze that into two weeks. Well, I suppose you could miss you'd have to miss something out to fit it in, whether it's the late Titicaga, whether it's uh a day or so less in Cusco, uh, or the whole of the Amazon thing. But you you could definitely 14 days if you get if you leave on the you know the Friday night and come back on a Sunday, then yeah, maybe you could fit the whole thing in doing that. But yeah, very enjoyable. Not a place I've been back to, not even being back to South America, but I'd like to. And I know you've been to Cuba. I'd quite like to go to Cuba at some point.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

Yeah. Obviously, not much height in Cuba, but I guess pretty much other other than that, a similar sort of feel probably to it. The old Spanish influence. Well, yeah, yeah, a very colonial influence in in um in Cuba as well. Yeah, very interesting. Um, and we'll do some episodes on Cuba or an episode on Cuba some point later this year, I should think. Yeah, I think that'll be good. Good, that's very interesting, Dave. Thank you. Uh you've now set the toilet faux par into nice context, which it didn't have before.

SPEAKER_02 35:36

Yeah, I can't believe I've gone public with that. Well, I obviously went public with it at the time, that was the problem. Yeah, indeed. Okay, well, goodbye, everybody, and thank you very much. Thank you, speak to you all soon.